Funny T-shirts

1. "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam" (seen on Cape Cod)
2. "That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old)
3. "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"
4. "Procrastinate Now"
5. "Rehab Is for Quitters"
6. "My Dog Can Lick Anyone"
7. "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?"
8. "Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (on a baby-size shirt)
9. "Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15"
10. "ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING"
11. "West Virginia: One Million People, and 15 last names"
12. "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software"
13. "Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again? "
14. "A hangover is the wrath of grapes"
15. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance"
16. "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"
17. "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music"
18. MOOSEHEAD: A great beer and a new experience for a moose"
19. "Live Bait "
20. "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead"
21. "Time's fun when you're having flies.......Kermit the Frog"
22. "POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing to go on."
23. "FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once."
24. "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH"
25. "A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a thousand times the memory."
26. "Does your face hurt? Because it's killing me!"
27. "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
28. "HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig."
29. "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years."
30. "The trouble with life is there's no background music."
31. "IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX?"
32. "Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake!"
33. "The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson."
34. "MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT"
35. "Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit."
36. "Don't ask me about my day."
37. "MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three-Mile-Island cleanup team."
38. "NyQuil-The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine."
39. "Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research."
40. "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't."
41. "Save the trees. Wipe your arse with an owl."
42. SNIPER: No Need To Run...You'll Only Die Tired.
43. Pain Is Fear Leaving The Body
44. My parents told me I could be anything, so I became an ARSE-HOLE!
45. If at first you don't succeed, get someone else to do it.
46. (Seen on a girl's shirt): Keep staring: I've got a clear shot.
47. Cereal Killer
48. Just be glad I'm not your kid.
49. Just because I flirt doesn't mean I'm interested.
50. My mom can beat up your dad.
51. Sorry I missed church. I was performing a human sacrifice.
52. Caution: Explicit Fu*king Lyrics.
53. I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
54. Love my country - Fear my government
55. Practice safe sex. Go fu*k yourself!
56. Just another shi*ty day in paradise.