New Oxford Dictionary Definition

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. [I like this one]
Yawn : The only time some people ever get to open their mouth.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Classic : A book which people praise but does not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience : The name people give to their mistakes.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills and kills you with his bills.